It’s been a while…..

Since I posted, work has been mental and there’s no sign of that changing lol, but on the whole it’s great! I am very fortunate in that I work with some really nice people and believe me, that helps a lot.

So what are we up to?

Well it’s now full steam ahead in preparation for the wedding (can’t wait) and the subsequent visa application. As you can imagine it’s intense but in the best way possible 🙂 I’m sure we’ll look back on this period of time with great fondness and say to each other ” How ever did we manage!?”

The simple answer to this question is with love, determination and support from our friends and families, of which I can’t thank highly enough. To all of you who have helped us and encouraged us to go for it, well I’m sure speak for both of us when I say we love you and without your support it would be extremely difficult xxx

I’m sure a few people have wondered why we even bothered with the whole blog thing, well take it from me it really helps us stay focussed and happy. When you’re in a long distance relationship you’ll take every possible interaction with your loved one. As we met through blogging it seemed a perfect way to express our love for one another and sharing our relationship with our families and friends, which hopefully will help them understand why we are doing this 🙂

A little over a week ago we had our marriage counselling with Tammy’s pastor, he will be marrying us and Texan law states that you must have completed this before the application to marry. The interview was held over 2 days for a total of 4 hours, of course we completed this on Skype and it was great! Brother Pederson is also one of Tammy’s professors at Dallas Baptist University (DBU) and I’d already met him last year when I visited Tammy. He’s a really nice fella and I could have talked with both him and Tammy for many hours more!

Tomorrow I have to get an affidavit notarised (verified) by a solicitor to confirm who I say I am, and then this will be sent to Tammy to make the marriage application  in my absence, I wish I could be there with her for that 😦

We only have 5 1/2 weeks to go now before we are together again and I can’t wait, I miss her big time! We spend loads of time together on Skype but I really long to kiss her again xxx

Adam x

Sound of Music

I hear both Adam and I have been called “gay” for our complete outpourings of love for one another.

And I say thank you for the happy well wish for our happiness to last forever, but….

I think I would rather be considered as “gay” and us be totally honest in our outpourings of love, than us be typical and superficial and full of worry about, “Oh, my! We shouldn’t do/say such things! What would people say? They may think we are soft or nuts and that would be terrible!”

God gave us emotions..oh,..yes,..I said “God” and especially when dealing with love they should be displayed!

If it offends your ears, eyes, minds or limited concepts of social display of affection then you simply do not have to read.

For I AM ADAM’s and HE IS MINE and……

This next portion of blog is just as “gay” as the rest!

TO TRACY ON YOUR COMMENT TO ORIGINAL POST: I took out alot of this blog I had originally posted because I felt it was too negative and Adam says positive is the only way to go. But I am returning the gist of it because I reached another person who has honestly felt this way too and I know it is not just me who sometimes gets plagued with lack of confidence. So,…

I have recently compared myself to all the other younger women around,..especially around Adam and how gorgeous they are and totally confident in their own sexiness. They flaunt it and flirt it with every movement and word they act. It is easy to be confident in your sexiness and your desirability and charms, gracefulness and intelligence when you are still young and ready to take on the world. When you still have not been trampled by life yet. Also, in your twenties you are blessed with a better body than that of a nearing 40 yr old woman with stretchmarks from 5 children and struggling with health issues…and it is easy when you are blessed with weight of less than 8.5 stones/120lbs….or you get blessed with being tall and having a high metabolism. I have been gaining weight over the last few months comparing myself to other women and even to my soon to be husband who is tall, skinny, muscular GQ model/Adonis….and then I start doubting myself,…not such a good thing to do…but even more so when you are trying to get ready to be married to your Adonis and you don’t fit well in your wedding dress which was hard to zip up.

Adam always tells me “words are cheap”…..”actions speak louder than words”..and how when I am over there for good,..I will know the full extent of his love for me every day and I will no longer ever worry.

And sadly, because we are so far away from each other…the words are mostly what we have….

BUT!…. and this is a BIG BUT(excuse my pun)

…….I BEG TO DIFFER,..the words are NOT SO CHEAP. Especially his!

Adam is wonderfully charming and knows just how to look into my eyes and always say the right things..his words are music to my ears….to my soul..every word he writes to me and everything he tells me on Skpye is PRICELESS.

He looks at me and assures me about no interest in other women and tells me how beautiful and stunning I am and how he can get lost in my eyes and how I make certain parts of him stand to attention..lol…when he is just thinking about me. He tells me all the time how smart and lovely I am and that my beauty supersedes in that it is not only skin deep. He tells me all the most wonderful things about myself and is my “mirror, mirror, on the wall”……

His love for me and the words are followed by actions. AND THEY REFLECT THE BEAUTY HE SEES IN ME IN HIS EYES…… HE PROVES THIS EVERYDAY.

Relationships are hard enough to maintain when you are together everyday and even more so when you are half a world away, BUT HE DOES THIS AMAZINGLY.

For those of you who read this and may be someone I have been with in the past that has hurt me deeply and been part of the scar tissue in my heart,…..Adam took that heart that you gashed and scarred and saw it still beating in his hands and he loved it as if it were the most beautiful thing he had ever known. He took me as I am, still does, and he sees all my past hurts and he doesn’t lie when he says I need to have more confidence and I know this is true….he can be very painstakingly blunt with his words, but even so all he says to me is medicine to my heart and heals all my old wounds and helps me to grow a better heart, better mind and self view.

You see, even half a world away,….I do not have to believe and refuse to truly believe that Adam would ever hurt me. He even tells me and all others he doesn’t have it in his DNA to do something so tragic to my heart.

Yes,..I know Adam is true…I see it in his beautiful, sparkling, happy eyes and feel it in his words…

and I have to learn to be more confident in myself and not worry,..let the old scars bring up wrong thoughts in my head, because Adam is there for me and I,..well I am tired of not being confident enough in myself! I know that I am the only one in the end who can change that, but TRUST ME,…Adam has a BIG role in it too!

Sometimes Adam REALLY makes me feel like Julie Andrews in “The Sound Of Music”, singing loudly, “I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN ME!”

http://youtu.be/aJ7E7kJlZMI

With Adam by my side, it never fails…it is always when I feel I can jump on the beds and yell back at the thunder and lightning  and sing happily,….

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http://youtu.be/td8rLo-us3c

“When the Dog BITES,

When the Bee STINGS,

When I am feeling SAD,…

I simply remember my favorite things (#1 SPOT MARRYING ADAM)

And then I don’t feel so bad!”

In my heart when I know Adam desires me and loves me unconditionally, and I see the truth of it in his eyes…I feel like I am on top of the mountains singing out the in the glory of a new life!

and then other days I do not do so well and my confidence staggers.

And still, even still, Adam LOVES ME through it all. He has the patience of a SAINT

and the positive recharge battery of the Energizer Bunny, dancing his happy beating, melodious, medicinal words into my heart!

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For he is always standing there loving me…SO VERY MUCH…..Just like the song says in “The Sound Of Music” when the Captain and and Maria are in the conservatory holding each other and singing this love song,….

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http://youtu.be/RNdl-HIkDqQ

“Nothing comes from nothing,

nothing ever could,

For somewhere in my youth or childhood,

I must have done something good.”

…I LOVE YOUXXX

Leap of Faith

Forever he’d searched, forever unquenched!

One moment his heart called him to fly.

Knowing it, feeling it,

He knew that he needed to walk with her.

Thus he leapt,

To take his chance of happiness.

To meet his friend and confidante,

He soared above the clouds and towards the Sun he hastened.

“How high would you fly to seek your destiny?” The shadows called

“How long would you leap?” They cracked

“As far and as long as I am possible! For there is eternal love at stake!” Boldly striding he left them behind

“Be’gone demon spirits!!! There’s no room in here , you’re not welcome!! Be’gone!!” he retorted broadly smiling.

Never had he known such a feeling, nor would he again as he lived beside his love,

Forever happy they knew that their faith had been rewarded with life’s greatest prize!

Adam x

“Transformers, More Than Meets The Eye”

I know what you are thinking, everything sounds too perfect, almost like it is fake,…nothing this real and awesome relationships like this do not actually exist except in movies. Little scrap metal dreams wishing on stars.

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Well,…………

You are wrong.

All of it is real and it is this good and better.

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Just like with Transformers, there are other aspects to this relationship that make it what it is. And just like with any relationship, if you want to hold on to what you love, you work at it and you fight the battles together.You are a team. This is a great concept when thinking the Olympics are about to start.

But sometimes the players on the team have differences, sometimes with others and sometimes with each other and yet you still have to keep fighting on the same team. You still have to be strong and respect and love each other through it all,…and we still have to fight for what we have together, along with fighting our war in our world..the world of cynicism, disbelief, lust, greed, selfishness and no compassion.

Tiny fragments and chunks of repair work exist in it along with resetting the programming….it took someone looking at an old beat up and broken wreck and seeing the full beauty that was still in it and giving it new life and a chance at being on a winning team….and I fell in love with him and took off after this because it wasn’t a dream,…it was reality!

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BUT,..there are days when I feel I fail him as a partner for ever fearing over things at all. There are days when we disagree and even say things we feel, but did not want to use to hurt one another.

But isn’t that how real relationships go?

You have moments where you fumble……..

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and cry because you feel bad that you didn’t  get it right, but then your teammate bends down and picks you up and the next thing you know you are making all the goals…..TOGETHER. and WINNING! 😉

The battles come up and one person looks at them and gulps and the other looks at them and says, “Game on! we can do this!”  And on another day, your roles reverse and the turn is taken in being the one to keep morale.

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KEEP FIGHTING!

It isn’t about losing sight in a goal or not believing,…it is about having faith in yourself and someone else having faith in you as well, what makes it enough is LOVE….

Love,….to get through the struggles and the days where you fumble and you have to get back up and keep going. Because,…..the goals ARE IMPORTANT!

Goals.

Goals and teams.

Adam is the most goal focused and team oriented player I know,…at work and with me and this family.

Take a look at this excerpt from his funny, but actually true in content, email to me today:

“I’m here on the outskirts of this quaint market town and I’m delighted to be able to report to you, LIVE, on what has been nothing short of an amazing feat of garden preparation! The crowds have all but dissipated now, with just a few hangers on, wondering if they make steal a glimpse of the lone worker who created this fine slabbage”

“Dick, we’ve seen the pictures and I have to say it’s seems unbelievable to think that this was the work of only one man and in such a short time! There are rumours that he was able to complete this task just as soon as he returned from taking his kids to school! Can you confirm these rumours?”
“Troy, we heard those rumours too! And the number of eye witnesses that can confirm this really make it more fact than rumour!”
“Dick, whilst we speak there are still further reports that he also managed to complete numerous household chores, for example a weeks worth of ironing was also completed before 11am, this really is quite a remarkable day if they are true! Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Troy, I certainly would and it appears we are dealing with a very determined man, who is intent on doing his utmost to provide a fine life for his family, as well as securing promotion in the near future!”

I can NEVER match him in this. I always feel like I am short of the mark compared to him,  because of little and sometimes big anxieties,…fears dug into me from scars of other horrible people. Even though I always wanted to believe in fairytales, mostly, reality kicked my a** and I wound up being trained that always the bad things would happen and never could believe the good would last or ever be for me.

Now I have a new trainer and teammate, Adam. And he always wishes he could go back and protect me from all the evil forces of those loser DECEPTICONS,…

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But since he cannot change what has happened, he teaches me, has patience with me, loves me so strongly and deeply and has great understanding with me….

He runs me through some of the same course, but with better plays and more effort and real belief/faith in me.

He sees me as a winner where sometimes I do not see myself.

He even has been hurt by my fear at times, but he still stays and fights the battle. He has even been attacked by others who are against him and our fight to be together. But he still stands….. my Transformer,…

My OPTIMUS PRIME!

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Happy Birthday Wishes!!

Dearest Tammy

Today is your birthday and I’d like to celebrate this special day with you!!

I’m sending you all of my love, kisses and best wishes xxx

Next year and forever more we will be able to celebrate our birthday’s together and I can’t wait!!

I chose your birthday song for several reasons, I know you’ll appreciate the choice and the message behind it 🙂

I hope you have a wonderful day and you like your present!

Can’t wait to speak to you later

XXX

Way out West!

Understatement

When we decided that it would be amazing for us to meet and take things from there, it suddenly dawned on me that this was the beginning of one of the most incredible adventures of my life. Having never been to the US of A before that in itself would be pretty spectacular, but to meet the woman of my dreams just sent the whole idea off the scale!! To say I was excited was the biggest understatement since the Black Knight from Monty Python’s Holy Grail conceded he had a flesh wound!!

So for those of you who’ve never been to the USA I thought I’d write a piece about my experience of America and what I thought of the country and its culture.

I remember the excitement when I’d bought the flight tickets! C’mon!!!

Anyway to cut to the chase, I went to America last Sept (2011), taking a BA flight from Heathrow’s new terminal 5, needless to say this is one awesome place!! You can’t help but be anything other than impressed by the scale of the place, for me it adds a great deal to the whole experience. I love travelling and have only travelled in Europe before, so this trip was by far the furthest flung destination for me and I was going to savour every minute of it!!

It’s vast!!

 I arrived in Dallas Fort Worth Texas after my 10 hour non-stop flight on this bad boy!

When all the guff at the airport was done with I finally got to meet Tammy and boy oh boy that was something special that I shall never forget for as long as I live!! We kissed for sometime 😉 and then thought we’d better crack on and meet the family!

Get this! Texas had been in a drought for many months and the day I arrive it bloody starts raining lol!! A good thing for the Texans but I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony. In this photo you’ll see that we were at an American football game, just a inter-school game, but they had cancel it because of the storm that whipped up only moments after this picture was taken. If you’re not used to big weather and you want to experience it, go to the States!!! They don’t do anything small!!! Crikey only a month ago Tammy’s house came within a mile of being wiped out by an F3 Tornado, I was actually on Skype with her at the time it was raging outside her house, very scary, but I knew she’d be alright; I just knew.

This thing actually changed direction at a junction and then when it had gone about a mile to the right of their home, then changed back on to it’s original course and wiped out 300 homes and buildings!!! Miraculous!!!

I digress……..

So yes it hits you immediately just how vast the place is and how spread out everything is, when you’re used to living on top of your neighbour and having no real space to your own, save inside your house, seeing the size of the houses and their gardens here was an eye opener. When you consider that for a 6 bedroom house with a swimming pool and double garage and an 1/2  acre of garden could only set you back approx. $160 – $180,000 or ÂŁ100 – ÂŁ110,000, you begin to understand how much land they have and how little it costs.

The Texan skies are just something else, they really are huge, that sounds odd i grant you, because they’re no bigger than ours, but the scale of everything changes your perception of the sky, it appears to be much bigger.

This picture was taken on our way to the iconic drive in cinema, I’ve posted about this before so I won’t bore you with that again, needless to say if you come to the States, go to the drive in, it’s and ACE way to watch a flik.

You drive everywhere in the States, it’s too big and all the shops and schools and stuff are just too far apart for you to even attempt walking. I didn’t see a bus in Lancaster, (save a school bus) the whole, entire time (lol, private joke) I was there. Sure they had them in Dallas city but where I think they need them they say is too risky to have them. That should tell you a whole other story about the States!

We’ll soon need one of these!

Gas, Gas, Gasoline

One of the most noticeable things is the trucks! To the Americans they’re just run of the mill vehicles, but to me it was like the Monster Trucks were on a day out!! You know what a Hummer looks like right? That giant truck designed originally for military use, then domesticated and blinged up to the eyeballs, well they’re small!!!

I mean these trucks are huge man!!! To give you some idea of how big this puppy was, the picture was taken from a rather large people carrier, with a high driving position and then this truck rolled past us!

Can you imagine sending your kids to schools where they have signs like this dotted around the entrance? Actually it’s not a problem that’s unique to America , I remember as a teenager going to Brixton Academy (London) to watch the girls play basketball, they had signs similar to this one at the entrance to the gymnasium halls. That said the signs in Lancaster TX, did seem a little more menacing, and to have them at a school is very concerning for any parent. I think living in an English market town has me taking certain things for granted, for example, how safe life is in King’s Lynn!!

Sky’s the Limit

One of the things I really hoped we could find time for was a visit to Dallas, luckily we had an afternoon free and after Tammy’s morning lecture we made our way 30 mins north of Lancaster to the big city! One of the things about this part of Texas is that it’s quite flat and open clear land, so as you leave Lancaster you can see Dallas in the distance. The skyscrapers thrust themselves skywards and like shards of light they demand your attention, a very impressive sight that I’m so glad I got to enjoy.

Iconic!!

The land of the free?

Revelation

I knew that Americans are very religious but I hadn’t imagined how much their faith is integrated into their daily lives, by that I mean the church owns schools, universities and community rooms and no doubt many other things that I’m blatantly ignorant to. Tammy is religious and even though I’m an agnostic I respect her beliefs greatly, and I wanted to go to her church and appreciate her life and all aspects of it.

This is church American Style!

This is a Baptist church and they believe in delivering the message with a high tech theatrical style, with a big show, music, lights, videos and guests. Actually the service was very entertaining and I was pleasantly surprised, that said after the first salvoes of music and song had finished the Pastor dived straight in with how important it was to give, to support the church community by offering tithes. Tithes are donations to the church, which have been in existence from the start of the whole church movement and usually run at 10% of your income!!!

This is a profound cultural difference and it made me feel a little uneasy about the rest of the service, but when you step back and consider that the church invests huge sums of money in education and supporting the community; it may actually be a good thing……..I’m undecided.

Fast Food and Lots of it!!

Everybody knows that America is the home of fast food, but again I don’t think many people really understand the scale of this industry unless they’ve been there and witnessed it for themselves. In England Mcdonalds is the big daddy of fast food and even though they are probably the biggest in the US too, it certainly didn’t feel like they have the lion’s share like they appear to enjoy in the UK.

My most memorable fast food experience whilst there was the breakfast we all enjoyed at the IHOP on the last day of my visit. IHOP stands for ‘International House of Pancakes’ lol you gotta love these guys!!

I had a stack of blueberry filled pancakes and they messed me up for hours!!!

So there you have it, just a few of my observations that I made on my visit to Texas, It’s definitely a wonderful country, but I’m not sure I’d want to live there full time, I suppose it’s like anywhere else, if you find the right place it doesn’t matter where that is; also it’s like Tammy says “Home is where the heart is”.

Adam x

 

David Bailey!! Eat your heart out!!!

When Tammy came over to England to visit me and my family, to see our new home and explore the country we went to some beautiful places, oh and King’s Lynn too lol. I shouldn’t laugh really, it’s been a good home to me for 20+ years and I’ve made some great friends here and it’s perfectly located in the East of England. Only an hour away from 3 very different  and beautiful cities, all of which are well worth a visit.

Those cities are Cambridge, Norwich and Ely, you could include Peterborough within the hours driving distance from Lynn, but I can’t think of a good reason to go there, save maybe the shopping arcade for the ladies…….I’ll pass I think. But the other 3 are great, steeped in history, beauty and glorious architecture, needless to say I took Tammy to all of them during her stay here in England.

We also visited some of Norfolk’s premier seaside resorts, Brancaster, Hunstanton and Wells next to Sea all had a whistle stop tour and despite the weather we had a marvellous time! For years I took this place for granted, but slowly as my kids grew, I sought new ways to entertain them and inevitably explore the region, I  realised what a beautiful part of the world I live in.

So what’s this post all about then? Well as Tammy eluded to in one of her previous posts, we both took lots of snaps during her visit and I used my phone to take them because I haven’t a camera and I had downloaded a Photoshop app on it and It’s very good at turning something ordinary into something quite arty lol.

Here are the fruits of my labours.

Ely Cathedral Cherub

Churchyard

Wonder Woman

Wells next the Sea

Brancaster


Ely Cathedral

St John’s College – Cambridge

Brancaster Beach

Tammy in Brancaster

 Well I won’t give up the day job just yet, but Tammy’s visit sparked more than a passing interest in photography, so it appears I now have another geeky string to add to the geek bow!

Respect and Peace!

Adam x