The Waiting is Agony!

I have to let you know that the last 6 weeks have been agony for both Tammy and I 😦

Waiting for a decision from the British Consulate in New York is, without doubt, one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced, and we still know nothing about our fate! By nature, I’m a positive person and I take some comfort in knowing that our application is strong and professionally compiled, but it is extremely difficult to feel positive amid this process.

If it’s rejected then we have some major mountains to climb and I know both of us are willing to wait for each other and will do whatever it takes to be together, but I also know it will take its toll on us and our families; as it’s affects them as well 😦

As I told you before, Tammy’s health is under attack as the whole process wears on her, this adds to my feelings of pain and frustration, I wish I could do more for her, to look after her like a good husband and best friend would.

She never ceases to amaze me with her inner strength, she believes herself to be weak, yet I know she’s amazingly strong! Her life story is one of many trials and tribulations, yet she has always managed to pull herself up off her knees and face the next day with the same beauty and grace; as she faced the last. If ever there was a measure of strength it is this and I’m so happy and proud to be her husband.

It’s been 14 weeks since we last held each other and I miss her terribly!

She has brought so much happiness and love into my life, I have never felt so good and I know Tammy feels the same way, it really is an amazing thing! So much so that we are prepared to go through this agony to be together forever 🙂

Adam x

Optimism and Despair

So it’s been a long while since I’ve posted and that is a reflection of how hard life has been for both Tammy and myself recently; being apart really is like falling into an Abyss!!

 

This Abyss tries it’s hardest to suck every drop of positive energy from you and leave you in despair.

 

Optimism and Despair (by Scott Breton)

We’ve been apart now since the 14th July and I don’t mind admitting that I’m depressed about that and I know that Tammy is too! We both know that in time that will be sorted and we can get on with our life together, but let me tell you; this isn’t for the faint hearted!!

 

Since I’ve been gone I seen my wife’s health degenerate and I’m convinced that some of this is down to us being apart. I’m a firm believer in that a positive outlook is really beneficial to our health, where a depression can cause acidity to eat at your health from within.

It’s upsetting to see the one you love struggling and not be able to be there and have that loving cuddle of reassurance 😦 Optimistic words can only go so far in helping and after a while I’m sure they can actually become irksome as your reassurances are repeated; I’m sure that sometimes Tammy’s thinking “if he says that again I’m gonna scream!”

Where are we?

A little over 2 weeks ago we submitted Tammy’s application to the British Embassy for acceptance as my Spouse to live in England, a little over 2 weeks ago we believed that (as stated on the UK Border Agency’s website) that 85% of settlement visa where processed within 15 working days; yet we were dismayed to discover that the New York’s office is averaging 39 working days!!!

This is not helping…….

State of Mind

Over the last few years and months I’ve learnt a lot about myself, the most important of which I consider to be my ability to go easy on myself, especially when others are having a go! I’ve taken to this mantra, if you are trying your best, giving it everything you have then you should be comfortable with yourself, you can do no more! Conversely, if I know I’ve been slacking then I’m setting myself up for sleepless nights!

Living by this philosophy has provided me with a defensive shield which protects me for the worst the world can throw at me, believe me it’s so easy to go overboard on yourself; which in turn leads to self doubt and fear.

Secondly, I’ve have, by default, become a far more patient man, this is a blessing and affords me the will power I need to stay faithful to my goals, ambitions and most importantly my wife!

In the past we have both been dealt a rough hand by those we loved, but now we have found each other we will never give up what we have for anything and in time the positive, healing effects of being in a mutually loving and respectful marriage will pay dividends to our wellness!

 

Respect and Peace!

Adam x

Galveston, Oh Galveston!

It seems like an age since our marriage and I miss Tammy terribly!! She’s my dearest friend and the most amazing woman a man could ever hope to have as a wife. It’s been a month since we tied the knot and when i think of that it cheers my heart knowing that we hopefully only have 6 weeks to wait until we are together again…..for good!!

However that is not the focus of this post, before that I’d like to share with you some of the photo’s and experiences of our honeymoon in Galveston.

For those of you that don’t know Tammy yet, let me start by saying she is the most considerate and thoughtful person. She never stops thinking about and planning for the things she needs or wants to do / achieve; she has a beautiful mind!

In typical male style, I’d never really thought of our honeymoon until Tammy said “I know where we could go!”

Well, she really hit the jackpot with this idea! In Galveston she’d made the perfect choice!

We were both very excited at the prospect of spending some quality time together, alone, a luxury that we know will be hard to come by in the future, with that in mind we made the most of our romantic break to the Gulf of Mexico!!

Our trip to Galveston would be the first occasion on which I’d drive in the states and I was very excited at the prospect of driving on their freeways, although I was a little anxious when the weather decided to take a turn for the worse.

In America, it’s commonplace for you to be undertaken by massive trucks, at great speed, even during a thunderstorm, rather disconcerting whilst you are aquaplaning beside them!

Despite the rain I really enjoyed the 285 mile (5  hour) trip, which saw us drive SE through Texas to the Gulf coast.

We spoke loads and it was really nice just to spend some time together, full of excitement about our honeymoon and the fact that we were now man and wife, something we both knew we would be from the moment we met.

Houston, Texas

The end of our drive was close as we passed through Houston, a city which was remarkable in that it looked and felt exactly like Dallas to me, however it is an amazing sight to see these skyscrapers jetting upwards towards the heavens 🙂

I love this picture!! Taken on the outskirts of Galveston I think the striking lines make this a great shot, especially when you when you consider we’re driving, great picture babe!!

This squadron of pelicans swooped directly over our car and were so graceful as they decided to escape the stormy weather which I guess they knew was coming lol. Wicked!

The beautiful Coppersmith Inn (Bed and Breakfast) was to be our honeymoon retreat for the next 2 days and Tammy really had scored a gem of a place when she found this, I can’t recommend this highly enough, without doubt a 5 star experience!!

Our room was amazing! Old character and beautifully furnished!!

What a dish!! The oysters weren’t bad either 😉

I’ll admit that I was quite apprehensive about eating these oysters, I think I’d only ever had one before and after a terrible tangle (gastroenteritis) with a prawn baguette many years ago, I’ve always shied away from raw fish or shellfish. I will say that they were sensational, served with a fiery horseradish sauce, lemon and another spicy dip on a crunchy biscuit base they went down a storm!! (thankfully they stayed down too!)

One of Tammy’s favourite pictures, she loves the clouds and I think she’s right, these are the stairs to our room at the Coppersmith.

God!! How lucky am I!!!

These photo’s were taken on our walk from the Coppersmith to the beach, it was warm but damp, with occasional showers that were later to turn into a mini hurricane!! Lol, I’d left the wettest weather in history in the UK and came to Texas and found it raining!!

Love this photo of a pavement that had grown up with the trees!!

Galveston beach isn’t the prettiest beach in the world, but it does have bags of character, the sea wall being one of the famous sights of Galveston, a mural that spans the length of the beach, is abstracted with paintings of imaginary fish, quite nice how it cheers up what would otherwise be a very plain object.

The fishing peer

Baywatch the Galveston way!

The hall of the Coppersmith Inn, a really grand building!

Galveston has made its living off  the oil fields at sea and the seafood. Once it was a rich city and it boasts many old and grand buildings, but they often suffer from devastating hurricanes and as such it does look a little dilapidated in parts, and there are many unoccupied buildings and homes.

We spent a brief but very enjoyable (windswept) 2 days in Galveston, managing to have a 5 star meal one night and a night in with a pizza and a film, it was lovely spending time with my lovely wife.

It was time to leave and go and spend the remainder of my visit with the kids and we had some plans to make the most of our time. So we made our way home and on right on queue the rain lashed down, but as we drove home to Lancaster I couldn’t help but think that I was the luckiest man alive!!!

The driving rain!

The man that created a city!

I hope you enjoyed the photo’s of our honeymoon, there were many more and eventually I’ll get them up on facebook, but I think these are some of the best that we took. Photography is another interest we both enjoy and I look forward to a life of geekyness with Tammy, where we can indulge in each others hobbies and passions.

I can’t think of anything more wonderful than finding your best friend and soul mate and to know that you will share the rest of your life with them!! Awesome!!

Adam x

Visa Application

As you know Tammy and I have been in a long distance relationship for well over a year now, we’ve both travelled to each others homes to be together and to strengthen our love. We both know that we want to spend the rest of our days together and are set to get married in under 3 weeks now (July 8th – come on!).

You may also know that Tammy is not returning with me to England straight away 😦 The plan is for her and her kids to come over in October, after the visas have been approved.

We’ve heard many horror stories about how difficult visas are to get granted, so we’ve taken nothing for granted! We are using an agent for the whole application process and I will let you know who they are after Tammy has the visas gripped firmly in her hands! All I will say for now is that our agent knows her stuff and we have every confidence in her.

The whole process isn’t cheap, just one visa alone costs £825 to apply for, yes apply for, if you are refused you lose the fee too! Again another reason to get everything straight before you apply. This fee is the same regardless of age, so all of the kids visas cost the same! What a racket!

One of the clouds that cast a large shadow of doubt over the whole process has just evaporated as the UK governement has just released the new ‘Income Threshold’ figures for those wishing to sponsor a spouse for visa applications, obviously where I am the sponsor for Tammy’s application. So as of the 9th of July, the day after the wedding coincidently, UK law changes so that a sponsor must earn the minimum of £18,500 to sponsor an adult visa, with an additional £2,400 per child/dependant applicant.

There were concerns that this would be set much higher than this and could have scuppered our plans, so what better wedding gift could we ask for, we now know that I earn enough and that, with all things being equal, Tammy’s visa is looking more of a cert than a hope!

Believe me! This is a great weight off our minds and our dreams of being together are coming into sharp focus now and I can’t wait til the day I meet them all at the airport!!!

 

Adam x

What is it?

What is it that makes me do whatever it takes to be with you?

What is it that sends me into space with dreams of our shared life together?

What is it that makes me the happiest person on the planet?

What is it about our love that shields me from worst the world could throw at me?

What is it that makes me know that this is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life?

What is it when I know, without doubt, that I ‘have’ to spend the rest of my days with you?

Woman you need to know that I’m crazy about you!

I will do everything within my powers to make you feel happy, to keep you and your kids safe from harm, to love you without reservation, to love your kids like I love my own, to be a loyal and loving husband, with honesty and respect for you, because you are the most amazing woman on the planet Tammy!!

I have never known anyone like you, so strong and yet so sensitive, so beautiful inside and out, so funny and playful, intelligent and talented.

In you, I have found the perfect woman and knowing this has answered all of the questions above. The love that we share is priceless! I’m am so lucky to have you and I want to spend the rest of my life celebrating that fact and loving you the way you deserved to be loved. I wish life had have been nicer to you Tammy, but now I know that finally you will have the life you always dreamt of 🙂

With only 3 weeks before we get married I wanted to let you and the world know how much I love you and that becoming your husband will make me the proudest man on Earth!!

With all of my love

@dam

XXX

Useless!

I’m worried about my woman! For the past week and a half Tammy has been suffering with kidney stones, she’s been in a lot of pain and after seeing 2 of the stones that ripped their way through her last week, I can understand why. No kidding these stones were rough and irregular in shape and 4 – 5 mm in diameter!! I’m left feeling totally useless and worried about her, trying to remain positive and upbeat until she can make her doctor’s appointment on Monday.

If you’ve never seen a kidney stone then check this out, this isn’t hers but is the closest I could find the ones she has shown me on Skype.

So these form inside the kidney, whose role it is to filter the blood of the minerals and elements that aren’t required by the body.  Some people are more susceptible than others to stones, as our bodies all work differently when processing the food and drink that we consume. Tammy has had major problems with her kidneys before and is no stranger to the pain, she is amazingly brave when dealing with it and I feel completely helpless and inept.

It’s sod’s law that this would kick off only a month before our big day and I really hope the doctors can help her recover in time! For those of us in the UK it’s difficult for us to understand the US medical system, we take the amazing NHS for granted, ok we pay our National Insurance for it, but when you consider what we get for our money it really is amazing!!

For Tammy to even visit the doctor in Texas will cost several hundred dollars as she doesn’t have medical insurance that will cover her condition, if they refer her to a specialist then she would have to fork of 1000’s of dollars!! We will have to wait and see what her doctor thinks about her condition. I believe they do have a free hospital service for the very poor and this is massively over subscribed and may not be able to deal with her case in a timely manner, so we’re are in the lap of the God’s on this one.

Not ideal preparation for your wedding and Tammy is a fighter and despite having a very difficult week, she has come out fighting, although this morning she feels sick to her stomach and totally washed out! Monday can’t come soon enough!

I’m not religious, but today I’m gonna pray for her safety and speedy recovery xxx

I love you Tammy xxx

It’s been a while…..

Since I posted, work has been mental and there’s no sign of that changing lol, but on the whole it’s great! I am very fortunate in that I work with some really nice people and believe me, that helps a lot.

So what are we up to?

Well it’s now full steam ahead in preparation for the wedding (can’t wait) and the subsequent visa application. As you can imagine it’s intense but in the best way possible 🙂 I’m sure we’ll look back on this period of time with great fondness and say to each other ” How ever did we manage!?”

The simple answer to this question is with love, determination and support from our friends and families, of which I can’t thank highly enough. To all of you who have helped us and encouraged us to go for it, well I’m sure speak for both of us when I say we love you and without your support it would be extremely difficult xxx

I’m sure a few people have wondered why we even bothered with the whole blog thing, well take it from me it really helps us stay focussed and happy. When you’re in a long distance relationship you’ll take every possible interaction with your loved one. As we met through blogging it seemed a perfect way to express our love for one another and sharing our relationship with our families and friends, which hopefully will help them understand why we are doing this 🙂

A little over a week ago we had our marriage counselling with Tammy’s pastor, he will be marrying us and Texan law states that you must have completed this before the application to marry. The interview was held over 2 days for a total of 4 hours, of course we completed this on Skype and it was great! Brother Pederson is also one of Tammy’s professors at Dallas Baptist University (DBU) and I’d already met him last year when I visited Tammy. He’s a really nice fella and I could have talked with both him and Tammy for many hours more!

Tomorrow I have to get an affidavit notarised (verified) by a solicitor to confirm who I say I am, and then this will be sent to Tammy to make the marriage application  in my absence, I wish I could be there with her for that 😦

We only have 5 1/2 weeks to go now before we are together again and I can’t wait, I miss her big time! We spend loads of time together on Skype but I really long to kiss her again xxx

Adam x

Leap of Faith

Forever he’d searched, forever unquenched!

One moment his heart called him to fly.

Knowing it, feeling it,

He knew that he needed to walk with her.

Thus he leapt,

To take his chance of happiness.

To meet his friend and confidante,

He soared above the clouds and towards the Sun he hastened.

“How high would you fly to seek your destiny?” The shadows called

“How long would you leap?” They cracked

“As far and as long as I am possible! For there is eternal love at stake!” Boldly striding he left them behind

“Be’gone demon spirits!!! There’s no room in here , you’re not welcome!! Be’gone!!” he retorted broadly smiling.

Never had he known such a feeling, nor would he again as he lived beside his love,

Forever happy they knew that their faith had been rewarded with life’s greatest prize!

Adam x

Happy Birthday Wishes!!

Dearest Tammy

Today is your birthday and I’d like to celebrate this special day with you!!

I’m sending you all of my love, kisses and best wishes xxx

Next year and forever more we will be able to celebrate our birthday’s together and I can’t wait!!

I chose your birthday song for several reasons, I know you’ll appreciate the choice and the message behind it 🙂

I hope you have a wonderful day and you like your present!

Can’t wait to speak to you later

XXX

Way out West!

Understatement

When we decided that it would be amazing for us to meet and take things from there, it suddenly dawned on me that this was the beginning of one of the most incredible adventures of my life. Having never been to the US of A before that in itself would be pretty spectacular, but to meet the woman of my dreams just sent the whole idea off the scale!! To say I was excited was the biggest understatement since the Black Knight from Monty Python’s Holy Grail conceded he had a flesh wound!!

So for those of you who’ve never been to the USA I thought I’d write a piece about my experience of America and what I thought of the country and its culture.

I remember the excitement when I’d bought the flight tickets! C’mon!!!

Anyway to cut to the chase, I went to America last Sept (2011), taking a BA flight from Heathrow’s new terminal 5, needless to say this is one awesome place!! You can’t help but be anything other than impressed by the scale of the place, for me it adds a great deal to the whole experience. I love travelling and have only travelled in Europe before, so this trip was by far the furthest flung destination for me and I was going to savour every minute of it!!

It’s vast!!

 I arrived in Dallas Fort Worth Texas after my 10 hour non-stop flight on this bad boy!

When all the guff at the airport was done with I finally got to meet Tammy and boy oh boy that was something special that I shall never forget for as long as I live!! We kissed for sometime 😉 and then thought we’d better crack on and meet the family!

Get this! Texas had been in a drought for many months and the day I arrive it bloody starts raining lol!! A good thing for the Texans but I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony. In this photo you’ll see that we were at an American football game, just a inter-school game, but they had cancel it because of the storm that whipped up only moments after this picture was taken. If you’re not used to big weather and you want to experience it, go to the States!!! They don’t do anything small!!! Crikey only a month ago Tammy’s house came within a mile of being wiped out by an F3 Tornado, I was actually on Skype with her at the time it was raging outside her house, very scary, but I knew she’d be alright; I just knew.

This thing actually changed direction at a junction and then when it had gone about a mile to the right of their home, then changed back on to it’s original course and wiped out 300 homes and buildings!!! Miraculous!!!

I digress……..

So yes it hits you immediately just how vast the place is and how spread out everything is, when you’re used to living on top of your neighbour and having no real space to your own, save inside your house, seeing the size of the houses and their gardens here was an eye opener. When you consider that for a 6 bedroom house with a swimming pool and double garage and an 1/2  acre of garden could only set you back approx. $160 – $180,000 or £100 – £110,000, you begin to understand how much land they have and how little it costs.

The Texan skies are just something else, they really are huge, that sounds odd i grant you, because they’re no bigger than ours, but the scale of everything changes your perception of the sky, it appears to be much bigger.

This picture was taken on our way to the iconic drive in cinema, I’ve posted about this before so I won’t bore you with that again, needless to say if you come to the States, go to the drive in, it’s and ACE way to watch a flik.

You drive everywhere in the States, it’s too big and all the shops and schools and stuff are just too far apart for you to even attempt walking. I didn’t see a bus in Lancaster, (save a school bus) the whole, entire time (lol, private joke) I was there. Sure they had them in Dallas city but where I think they need them they say is too risky to have them. That should tell you a whole other story about the States!

We’ll soon need one of these!

Gas, Gas, Gasoline

One of the most noticeable things is the trucks! To the Americans they’re just run of the mill vehicles, but to me it was like the Monster Trucks were on a day out!! You know what a Hummer looks like right? That giant truck designed originally for military use, then domesticated and blinged up to the eyeballs, well they’re small!!!

I mean these trucks are huge man!!! To give you some idea of how big this puppy was, the picture was taken from a rather large people carrier, with a high driving position and then this truck rolled past us!

Can you imagine sending your kids to schools where they have signs like this dotted around the entrance? Actually it’s not a problem that’s unique to America , I remember as a teenager going to Brixton Academy (London) to watch the girls play basketball, they had signs similar to this one at the entrance to the gymnasium halls. That said the signs in Lancaster TX, did seem a little more menacing, and to have them at a school is very concerning for any parent. I think living in an English market town has me taking certain things for granted, for example, how safe life is in King’s Lynn!!

Sky’s the Limit

One of the things I really hoped we could find time for was a visit to Dallas, luckily we had an afternoon free and after Tammy’s morning lecture we made our way 30 mins north of Lancaster to the big city! One of the things about this part of Texas is that it’s quite flat and open clear land, so as you leave Lancaster you can see Dallas in the distance. The skyscrapers thrust themselves skywards and like shards of light they demand your attention, a very impressive sight that I’m so glad I got to enjoy.

Iconic!!

The land of the free?

Revelation

I knew that Americans are very religious but I hadn’t imagined how much their faith is integrated into their daily lives, by that I mean the church owns schools, universities and community rooms and no doubt many other things that I’m blatantly ignorant to. Tammy is religious and even though I’m an agnostic I respect her beliefs greatly, and I wanted to go to her church and appreciate her life and all aspects of it.

This is church American Style!

This is a Baptist church and they believe in delivering the message with a high tech theatrical style, with a big show, music, lights, videos and guests. Actually the service was very entertaining and I was pleasantly surprised, that said after the first salvoes of music and song had finished the Pastor dived straight in with how important it was to give, to support the church community by offering tithes. Tithes are donations to the church, which have been in existence from the start of the whole church movement and usually run at 10% of your income!!!

This is a profound cultural difference and it made me feel a little uneasy about the rest of the service, but when you step back and consider that the church invests huge sums of money in education and supporting the community; it may actually be a good thing……..I’m undecided.

Fast Food and Lots of it!!

Everybody knows that America is the home of fast food, but again I don’t think many people really understand the scale of this industry unless they’ve been there and witnessed it for themselves. In England Mcdonalds is the big daddy of fast food and even though they are probably the biggest in the US too, it certainly didn’t feel like they have the lion’s share like they appear to enjoy in the UK.

My most memorable fast food experience whilst there was the breakfast we all enjoyed at the IHOP on the last day of my visit. IHOP stands for ‘International House of Pancakes’ lol you gotta love these guys!!

I had a stack of blueberry filled pancakes and they messed me up for hours!!!

So there you have it, just a few of my observations that I made on my visit to Texas, It’s definitely a wonderful country, but I’m not sure I’d want to live there full time, I suppose it’s like anywhere else, if you find the right place it doesn’t matter where that is; also it’s like Tammy says “Home is where the heart is”.

Adam x